Wednesday, August 7, 2013

A Shocking Delivery: "My Sister's Got Something Hanging Out Of Her Vagina Looks Like A Rope

Working a 3pm-11pm shift on 18 Boy. My regular partner called in sick so I'm working with Sandra. Usually when your partner calls  in sick they stick you with anyone in the borough who doesn't have a partner that day. Usually it's some asshole who no one wants to work with. This wasn't the case with Sandra. A wonderful person to work with.
We're sitting at 125th Street and Seventh Avenue when the dispatcher pipes up
"18 Boy on the air"
"18 Boy" I respond
"Boy, take it over to 141 and 7th for the labor"
"18 Boy, 1063 (on the way)
About 4 minutes later we pull up in front of the address. The building is a 5 story brick. Of course our patient is on the 5th floor. We grab our equipment and start climbing the stairs. We arrive at the 3rd floor and are met by a child, a young girl about 6 years old.
"Please hurry" she implores grabbing my hand
I look down at her
"OK, sweetheart. Don't worry. We're here to help. Can you tell me what happened"
Without hesitation she answers
"My sister got something hanging out her vagina looks like a rope!"
Our stair climbing now becomes a sprint. We run into the apartment and into a back bedroom. Laying there is a young lady, naked from the waist down. And just like the little girl said there was something sticking out of her vagina that looked like a rope. The girl was 8 months pregnant and been having labor pains for several hours.The problem in this case was that instead of the baby presenting first the umbilical cord presented first. The greatest danger here was that the baby was laying upon the cord cutting off circulation and thus the baby's oxygen supply. I felt the cord. There was no pulse. "Shit", I said to myself. There's only one way to get blood flowing into that cord again.
I turn to the bystanders peering through the open door and yell out
"Is the father of the child here"
A young man about 18 steps forward
"Yeah, that's my girlfriend" he replies
"Listen, brother I gotta do something that ain't gonna look to cool but it's the only way we'll be able to save the baby's life"
He looks at me as if in a daze. Finally he says "Man, do whatever you got to do"
I turn back towards the patient. I hurriedly put on a pair of gloves. I place my fingers into her vagina. I feel the baby's head. It's laying right on the cord. I manipulate my fingers to where I lift the baby's head off the cord. With my other hand I feel the cord. A pulse! Alright! Now all I have to do is make sure the cord is not wrapped around the baby as it delivers, we don't want it pulling on the placenta and ripping it from the uterus. She'd bleed to death before our eyes. So there I am, my hand inside a pregnant girl's vagina while being watched by my partner, a backup crew and 3 cops. After about 5 minutes it begins to dawn on me that this baby is not going to deliver any time soon.So I ask Sandra to get the stretcher. And there I found myself, hand up the vagina down 5 flights of stairs, through a crowded street, a 5 minute drive to the hospital and a trip up to labor and delivery. By the time we dropped her off my hand was cramping so badly I thought I was paralyzed. The patient was rushed into the delivery room were the obstetrician did her magic and delivered the baby.
Making it back down to the ambulance Sandra brings me a soda she bought at the corner bodega. She hands it to me.
She looks at me with a sly look on her face, "That was fun! We should do that again" and she breaks out laughing.
I look at her "Sandra we get into shit like that again your gonna be the one catching. And I hope she's having fucking triplets!"