Monday, April 27, 2020

There Are Racists and there are Really Dumb Racists!

Normal night on 18 Boy tour 3. A shooting, stabbing, a few drunks. Just before quitting time we get a call for an unconscious on the street. We hurry over and lo and behold our unconscious is a drunk on the sidewalk. We drag the stretcher out, plop him on top of it. He turns to me and says in a gruff but proud voice "I am Russian!". He grabs my hand forcefully but not really threatening and yells again "I AM RUSSIAN!". I say "Ok, no problem we are going to bring you somewhere to get a little sleep" He answers "I am Russian"again. I takes his vitals. They're fine. I tell my partner "We're good" and he starts driving over to North General Hospital 2 blocks away on 121st and Madison ave in Harlem.
My partner backs into the ambulance bay. He comes around and opens the doors. My patient wakes up from a momentary slumber. "I AM RUSSIAN!" loud and proud but not menacing at all. We wheel the stretchers through the doors and into the emergency room. The nurse looks up and points to a spot to place the patient. We get him onto the stretcher and I'm about to walk away when I hear "Look at all the fing ni----s in here!". I turn to my right and there's a man well dressed, white, apparently drunk as Hell to the left of where I just placed my patient. A closer look shows that he resembles the actor John Lovitz like a doppleganger. He looks at me and says "Why are there so many fing n------s in here?". I'm stunned! This drunken moron is in an emergency room in Harlem and this guy is throwing the N word around like he's licensed to do it.
Now for one I ain't into that shit. I'm feeling a bit embarrassed. So I walk over to him. "Hey! Do you have any idea where you are? You want to make it out alive shut the fuck up!" He looks at me and says "What are you, a n-----lover?". I swear I want to crack the shit out of him. The nurse come over to me "Rocco. pay him no mind. He came off Metro-North drunk like that" I answer "yeah, but he can't go on talking like that" Again she says "Pay him no mind. What have you got?". I fill her in on my patient, drunk, maybe a little loud with the "I am Russian!" thing but not menacing. "Ok" she says and signs my patient care report. I start to walk out and I hear "Hey, n----- lover where are you going?".I want to strangle this bastard but can't. Just then a cardiac arrest comes in. It's a small emergency room so everyone's attention is taken. I have an idea! I go over to the patient who I brought in. He's right next to the asshole. I wake him. He wakes with a little effort. I say "Your Russian, right?" He sits up a little "I am Russian!"  he again declares proudly. I say "See that guy over there?" He turns his head, looks at A-hole then back at me. "Yeah that guy. He says all Russians are pussies!" His eyes grow wide! "All Russian as pussies?" "That's what he said" and I turn and walk away. "All RUSSIANS ARE PUSSIES!" I hear him scream. Just before I turn the corner I look to see that he was off the stretcher and pounding away on our fat little racist who has now lost his attitude and is now screaming "HELP ME! HELP ME!!!!!!" It was the most satisfying call of the night.